Fidel Castro World: A perverse theme park

Witness Castro and his ``Pirates of the Caribbean'' terrorize a nation. Bask in the surroundings while being catered to by Cuban slave labor. Rape and pillage an entire people under the protection of an oppressive regime. Experience the freedom reserved for only a few. The price of admission is merely your soul.

Visit ``It's a Small Nation'' and listen to the hypnotic and hollow voices of Cuban children as they sing Castro's own Socialismo o Muerte while pointing an AK-47 assault rifle at your Yankee head. It is guaranteed to bring tears to your eyes.

For history, visit the ``Hall of Marxist-Leninist Leaders.'' From Stalin to Castro, they deceived and murdered anyone who stood in their way, promising a better life for the masses, while only achieving a better life for themselves. Know the history, the way only a true Marxist-Leninist can re-write it.

For sheer terror, enter the ``The Haunted Conscience.'' Float on a balsa, or raft, while fending off sharks and Cuban gun boats, as thousands upon thousands of Cubans chant ``¡Libertad! ¡Libertad!'' and die at the hands of this oppressive regime. The experience will haunt you for the rest of your life.

If you have the time, stroll through Castro's ``Experimental Prototype Communism of Tomorrow'' and see what communism will be like in the next millennium. Learn to do business with Castro while turning your back on an entire people's cry for freedom. Visit the Canadian and Mexican pavilions and share in the wonder of dealing in confiscated properties and slave labor.

And before you leave this world of smoke and mirrors, stop by one of the many Castro World gift shops, where you can buy everything your heart desires, even if the Cubans on the island cannot.

Castro World, where dreams really don't come true.

KIRK R. MENENDEZ
Miami